This was a post I wrote back in September of 2010 when I found myself with a preschooler and a toddler. Over a year later we are still playing the sleep game, only now there are less cuddles and more sneaky trips to the fridge.
Image credit. |
It plays such a huge role in our lives.
Essentially we spend a third of our lives asleep. Possibly more, it depends on the person.
In the last two year's I have had my sleep GREATLY reduced. I have always loved my sleep, settling in for an average of 10 hours a night (girl needs her beauty sleep after all!)
My one regret with my children's age gap is I got pregnant just after I got all that great freedom that having a 2 year old brings. Freedom? I hear you ask.
Why yes. Namely a child who sleeps through the night, a child who is no longer in nappies, a child who is starting to grasp that actions have consequences, and a child who can use their words to tell me what they want so I'm not playing that never ending guessing game.
Enter pregnancy, the first few months spent feeling like I was dying, then the big move into a new place, getting settled into that new place during the summer from hell (we had a few weeks of 40'C + days, the nights were awful with the lowest being in the high 20'C range), and then I was at the end of my pregnancy before I knew it. Roll around the morning I wake up in labour. I didn't even have my hospital bag packed!
And so started not just the "not being able to sleep because of this ginormous belly and the baby that likes to tap tap tap away all night" but the actual having to get up out of bed and tend to a crying baby.
A year an a half on and it hasn't changed.
In the year and a half he has been with us, I have not had a single night off.
Do I get mad with him?
No.
I get bloody frustrated! At the whole situation, why is he waking, what could he possibly want? But mad?
Never.
The other night he woke and I called out a "Shhhhh" in the hopes I wouldn't have to actually leave my nice warm bed, and we hear back from the next room a sobbed yet defiant little "No". Mr Black and I laughed muffled little laughs.
Ahhh my defiant little one.
He may not sleep, but he definitely knows what he wants, and isn't afraid to speak up.
And you know what...in a year or so he is going to be far to busy and "too cool" to want to stop and cuddle his mama, so for now, even though I have days where I'd really like my space, I'm going to hold him close. Get all the cuddles I can, and put them into storage, because I know that I will one day wish I still had my little baby I could wrap up into my arms. Where my cuddles fixed everything. Where they were needed just as often as he needed to eat.
Miss Pink blogs over at The Mummy Autobiography. She's the mother to two; Bluey and Greeny, lover of all things pink and girly, believer in magic and all things that sparkle. She's kicking social anxiety in the butt. Check out her tweets and Facebook for more body love and humour.
I would have had to giggle at that " No! " aswell! And good on you for being able to keep anger out of the equation because when we were suffering through sleep deprivation i will admit i did have a time or two where i was just plain old mad, mad that i didnt get to sleep, mad that i had to get up more often than hubby, and mad that my son just seemed to be playing with me. Which he wasnt, i know that, it just lack of sleep does funny things to a person...
ReplyDeleteI didn't say I wasn't frustrated. There were times I stuffed my pillow over my head, HARD. There are times now where I swear quietly to myself "fuckfuckfucketyfuck" because it feels completely unfair to have to tell a toddler to go back to sleep.
DeleteThe no sleep thing is hard, but I have found some of my fondest memories and best bonding moments have happened in the middle of the night.
Thanks so much for letting me share in your space Ames. Hope this is a post that lots of women can relate to.
ReplyDeleteWishing you the very best on your babymoon xx
Thank you so much for sharing your story on here.
DeleteI can definitely relate!
xxx
I have a 3.5 year old who has been sleeping through the night for about 2 years. Recently he's been waking up and coming in to our bed again and I don't know why, but I am absolutely shattered the next day from having that tiny interruption. We've been trying for another bub and at this rate, won't have another before 3.5 year old is in school. I do worry that I've had it "so easy" for a while now, that I will get a very rude shock should we actually have another! I am with you on the 10 hours a night. I need at LEAST 8, anything less is not enough!
ReplyDelete