For week nine's challenge Deb is asking that we go easier on ourselves. I know I'm a few weeks behind but this challenge is perfect for me right now. Maybe there is a reason I'm behind so much.
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| Milk monster! |
Sesame is mainly being formula fed with only one or two breast milk feeds a day.
I'm beating myself up for it. Big time. That requires a whole post though. I know what's important and that is my baby being fed BUT I am struggling to let it go.
I know why I persevered in expressing for lufflump; prevent allergies and asthma while giving his immunity a boost. I have so many worries for sesame. Will she have bad allergies, will she get asthma and will she be sick more often because I didn't exclusively breastfeed for at least six months?
All these worries eat away at me. The guilt and disappointment invades my dreams.
I need to go easier on myself.
Sesame may get allergies, asthma and have bad immunity regardless of whether she is formula or breast fed. Formula is so good these days too. She drinks more than I ever imagined (200ml breast milk or 120ml formula each feed) and is much more content on formula (not crying for 15 - 45mins each feed).
She is happy, thriving, drinking and that's what is important.
The mister is ok with how she's being fed, in fact he is beyond happy she's not crying almost hourly. I am too. I have to grieve and let go. Breastfeeding is harder than hard. She's still getting breast milk and she's still being fed, comp feeding is not wrong. Formula is not wrong or bad, it's not ideal but it's not the end of the world.
I have not failed my daughter. I am doing what is best for her right now.
You are not failing her. The link between asthma and BF hasnt been conclusive and the issue about allergies hasnt either. I BF my girl until 18 months and she has both.
ReplyDeleteA calm, well rested mama is far more important to focus on than what she drinks (and on the day she starts school no one will ask...)
It does take a long time to come to terms with, I had to with my second because even though it was going well I was exhausted looking after everyone else and I just needed a hand x
Thank you Sarah, you've helped give me faith in that I'm doing the right thing :)
DeleteAmes, I'm with Sarah. The link between BF and allergies isn't conclusive. I fed the twins until they were 12 months but that didn't stop one of the twins developing an egg and nut allergy. (He's slowly growing out of them...)
ReplyDeleteAnd you said it yourself, formula is so good these days. If she's loving it, that's all that counts !
Keep close to your "I'm not failing my daughter..."
As my husband always says to me, you've given your child the best possible start...life.
Thank goodness he's growing out of his allergies!
DeleteThank you for your kind words and your husband is so right!
I think what you're doing is fantastic. The fact that you're still trying to give her a bit of breastmilk right now when it would be so easy to just switch over to formula entirely.
ReplyDeleteIn the end it's more important you are both happy and rested. You know best how to achieve that.
Also, Bluey was only EBF for 3 months, then we switched to formula and he has zero allergies. Greenie was EBF for 6months, we continued to BF until he self weaned at 22months, and he ate minimal solids during that time preferring the breast, and he has several allergies, including a very scary one to egg.
You just never know what life is going to throw you, and you could do everything to prevent and get it anyway, or you could do nothing to prevent and not get it at all.
Thank you. Expressing wasn't working either as it made me bleed so she's now on formula fully. She drinks lots but isn't gaining a whole lot of weight so I think I've made the right choice :)
DeleteEgg is such a common allergy! Lufflump had a slight allergy when he was little but has grown out of it. Allergies suck.
I was formula fed as my mum couldn't breastfeed and I never had asthma or any allergies ever!
ReplyDeleteHopefully sesame will be the same ;)
Delete"She is happy, thriving, drinking" <------- see that, that's THE most important thing right now.
ReplyDeleteyou're not a failure, you've grown a human being! you're now helping that little human being grow, you're nourishing her with food - where the food is from is irrelevant [no honestly it truly is, no matter how much others may say otherwise, sure there are some foods that are better than others but all that TRULY matters is that she IS feeding], you're protecting her, you're loving her, you're caring for her.
believe me, failure shouldn't be what you're feeling, achievement and proud of yourself is more fitting.
~x~
You are so right, thank you for putting it all into perspective!
DeleteThank you so much :)
I really struggled with this too when Max was a baby. I used to beat myself up so much about the fact that he didn't like breast-feeding. I expressed for 5 months before realising that hiding myself away in a bedroom expressing for hours a day actually meant I was spending less time with him than if I just started feeding him formula. I look at him now, healthy, happy, naughty and perfect and I wonder why I was so stressed out about it at the time :)
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you definitely made the right choice just like me :)
DeleteBeing a mum can be so tough but when you look at your healthy, happy child nothing else matters.
I am in awe of anyone who can handle expressing for feeding. AWE. I expressed when Riley was a baby and stockpiled a bit for when I went back to work but it was a hard slog and after a couple of months at work when Riley was about 11 months I just switched over to formula because I couldn't handle expressing anymore. Most of the time at best I would be lucky to get 40mls. I cannot even conceive of doing it now that I have two of them. And I didn't express one drop for Piper - straight on to formula when I weaned her a few weeks ago.
ReplyDeleteExpressing can be so hard. It worked so well for me last time but this time it was painful and a horrible experience. Nipples really shouldn't hurt that much!
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